CHAPTER ONE<\/p>\n
Lucifer put his arm around me. It felt comforting, like the act of a parent, a parent I\u2019d always wanted \u2013 a father. The air filled with the scent of cinnamon. It reminded me so strongly of Gabriel that the tears that always hovered beneath the surface spilled over.<\/p>\n
Lucifer said nothing, only held me as I wept. After a long while, it felt like there were no more tears to be cried. I lifted my head and saw Lucifer watching me with great compassion in his eyes.<\/p>\n
\u201cIf there is one human emotion I truly comprehend, it is grief,\u201d Lucifer said. \u201cI lost Evangeline and my children so long ago, and I never stopped grieving for them.\u201d<\/p>\n
\u201cSo it doesn\u2019t stop hurting, then,\u201d I said dully.<\/p>\n
\u201cThe pain becomes, perhaps, not quite so sharp. In the future, you may find that days may pass when you do not think of him at all, but when you do there will be a tenderness there, like a bruise that has never healed.\u201d<\/p>\n
I didn\u2019t need Lucifer to tell me that. A piece of me had been taken forever when Gabriel died. You can\u2019t replace the missing parts of your heart.<\/p>\n
Lucifer released me. I felt lost again, empty, except for the flame that burned bright with anger at the thought of Azazel. He would not be able to run far enough.<\/p>\n
\u201cStill, all is not lost. Gabriel lives on inside you,\u201d Lucifer said.<\/p>\n
\u201cYes, I\u2019ve heard all the clich\u00e9s,\u201d I sighed. Beezle and Samiel had been repeating them ad nauseum<\/em>.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, I mean Gabriel really does live on inside you,\u201d Lucifer said. \u201cHere.\u201d<\/p>\n He put his hand on my abdomen, and I looked up in shock.<\/p>\n Far below, deep inside, I felt it.<\/p>\n The beating of tiny wings.<\/p>\n A child. Gabriel\u2019s child. Wonder smothered the grief, just for a moment.<\/p>\n \u201cMy grandchild,\u201d Lucifer said.<\/p>\n There was such possessiveness in his voice, in his face, that I pulled away from his touch, covering my stomach with my hands.<\/p>\n \u201cSo that\u2019s why you wanted me to marry Gabriel,\u201d I said angrily. \u201cSo I can be a part of your supernatural breeding program?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cThat sounds so\u2026indelicate,\u201d Lucifer said.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd yet still true,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n Lucifer didn\u2019t bother to acknowledge this. Instead, he said, \u201cYou and Gabriel are powerful beings born of my line. Your child, no doubt, will be magnificent.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t have him,\u201d I said fiercely. \u201cHe\u2019s mine.\u201d<\/p>\n Mine and Gabriel\u2019s.<\/p>\n Lucifer took me by the shoulders and kissed me on the forehead. I stayed perfectly still, my hands fisted at my sides, until he released me.<\/p>\n \u201cCareful, my dear. Every time you try to cross me you just get pulled further into my orbit.\u201d<\/p>\n He climbed down the steps of my front porch and walked away down the snow-covered sidewalk. I watched him until he was out of sight, his words echoing inside my head.<\/p>\n Every time you try to cross me you just get pulled further into my orbit.<\/em><\/p>\n It was true that I hadn\u2019t managed to beat Lucifer at his game yet. It was also true that when I tried, something horrible would happen, like my being named the Hound of the Hunt.<\/p>\n But I was not going to let Lucifer use my child as part of his plan for total world domination.\u00a0 I was not going to let Lucifer take my last piece of Gabriel away.<\/p>\n Gabriel.<\/p>\n I felt my shoulders sagging, the familiar weariness settling on me. I wanted to go to sleep, which was pretty much all I\u2019d wanted to do since Azazel had killed Gabriel right in front of me.<\/p>\n I went back inside, locked the front door and climbed the steps up to my apartment. Beezle and Samiel were nowhere to be seen, which meant that they were probably in Samiel\u2019s apartment downstairs watching a movie.<\/p>\n I took off the coat that Lucifer had given me. For half a second I contemplated folding it up and tossing it in the trash, but practicality won. Both of my coats had been ruined in various battles with monsters, and I was too broke to afford a new one. On my best day I couldn\u2019t have bought a coat as nice as this.<\/p>\n I hung the coat up carefully by the back door and wandered down the hall to the kitchen. The idea of a nap suddenly had less appeal. I didn\u2019t want to climb in bed and find myself lying awake thinking about Gabriel or about ways to keep Lucifer from taking my baby.<\/p>\n My baby.<\/p>\n How was I supposed to raise a baby? I was surrounded by enemies who tried to kill me on a regular basis. The only reason I was still alive and hadn\u2019t died of my injuries yet was because Gabriel had been around to heal me.<\/p>\n And now he wasn\u2019t. And I was back to where I\u2019d started, the place I was always trying to escape but found that I circled back to, endlessly.<\/p>\n Azazel\u2019s sword in Gabriel\u2019s chest. Gabriel falling to the ground.<\/p>\n I was on my knees, my arms wrapped around my body, trying to stop the pain that never left me, the grief that hung over me like a cloud.<\/p>\n I put my cheek on the cold tile floor and closed my eyes, hoping I would not dream of Gabriel\u2019s blood in the snow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n I woke to the insistent tapping of a little gargoyle hand on my cheek.<\/p>\n \u201cMaddy, wake up,\u201d Beezle said.<\/p>\n My eyes felt glued shut. My chest hurt, like I\u2019d run a long way taking gasping breaths of air.<\/p>\n I didn\u2019t open my eyes or sit up. \u201cGo away, Beezle.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYou need to eat something,\u201d Beezle said.<\/p>\n \u201cIt won\u2019t hurt me to lose a few pounds,\u201d I mumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cNo, but it will hurt your baby.\u201d<\/p>\n I opened my eyes. It was dark in the kitchen. Light streamed in the back window from the streetlamp in the alley behind my building. Beezle sat frowning on the floor in front of my face.<\/p>\n \u201cHow do you know about the baby?\u201d I asked. My voice sounded rusty and unused.<\/p>\n \u201cGargoyles can see the true nature of things,\u201d he said gently. \u201cI\u2019ve known since the morning after your wedding night.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you say anything?\u201d I said, sitting up slowly. I was tired right into my bones.<\/p>\n Beezle shrugged. \u201cYou had enough on your plate. Besides, I figured you\u2019d find out soon enough from\u2026\u201d<\/p>\n He trailed off.<\/p>\n \u201cGabriel,\u201d I finished. \u201cYes, I suppose he would have known.\u201d<\/p>\n It was hard to know how to feel about that. Gabriel had probably figured out immediately that I was pregnant, just as Lucifer had. But he hadn\u2019t told me.<\/p>\n \u201cWill all the fallen know as soon as they see me?\u201d I asked.<\/p>\n Beezle shook his head. \u201cThey can sense children of their own line. Lucifer, especially, is sensitive to the presence of children of his blood. Evangeline would never have been able to disguise Lucifer\u2019s children from him without Michael\u2019s help.\u201d<\/p>\n Evangeline, my crazy ancestor who\u2019d started everything by falling in love with Lucifer millennia ago. She\u2019d been kidnapped by Lucifer\u2019s enemies while pregnant with his children. The archangel Michael had found Evangeline and convinced her that he could keep the twins safe from her lover\u2019s enemies. Michael had covered Lucifer\u2019s presence so thoroughly that the Morningstar never found the children of Evangeline, or the descendants of those children. Until he found me, daughter of Katherine Black, last direct descendant of Evangeline\u2019s line.<\/p>\n He had other offspring, of course. I didn\u2019t know how many. Two of his sons had been insane monsters, and they\u2019d both tried to kill me. I wasn\u2019t in a big hurry to meet any more of Lucifer\u2019s progeny.<\/p>\n \u201cWouldn\u2019t Azazel have known I was pregnant?\u201d I asked. \u201cI am of his line, too.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cIf he knew, it would only have made him angrier than he already was about your marriage,\u201d Beezle said. \u201cHe was never happy with your inability to fall in line.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI wasn\u2019t very interested in being a good little soldier for a father who never acted like one,\u201d I snapped.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd you don\u2019t need to get angry with me about it,\u201d Beezle said mildly. \u201cI\u2019m on your side.\u201d<\/p>\n I rubbed my forehead in the place where a headache was starting to form. \u201cI\u2019m sorry, Beezle. I just\u2026I don\u2019t know what to do.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout what?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAbout anything,\u201d I said. \u201cI just want to go to sleep and never wake up. I don\u2019t want to face the day. I don\u2019t want to get up in the morning knowing that Gabriel\u2019s not here.\u201d<\/p>\n I was crying again. I couldn\u2019t seem to stop.<\/p>\n \u201cAnd the baby?\u201d Beezle looked very grave.<\/p>\n \u201cThere is a part of me that\u2019s happy,\u201d I said, wiping my face. \u201cA small part. But the bigger part of me is scared, because I know that if I live long enough to deliver this child he will have a target on his back for the rest of his life. Every enemy that Lucifer has will be after this baby.\u201d<\/p>\n When I thought about it that way, my future looked overwhelming. Was I ever to have a normal relationship with this child, or would I always be on the run, always fending off new threats?<\/p>\n \u201cYou\u2019ve got to secure a future for the baby now,\u201d Beezle said. \u201cYou can\u2019t wait until the demons are at your door. You have to find a way to make sure he is protected.\u201d<\/p>\n I stared at him. \u201cAre you suggesting what I think you\u2019re suggesting?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cMake a pact with Lucifer,\u201d he said. \u201cNow, while you can still dictate your own terms.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cI can\u2019t believe you\u2019re telling me this,\u201d I said. \u201cYou know that I don\u2019t want to be another one of Lucifer\u2019s pawns. Besides, he wants the baby for himself. I can\u2019t trust him.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cNo, you can\u2019t trust him,\u201d Beezle said. \u201cBut if you wait until you have no other option for the child\u2019s safety then Lucifer will make you pay more dearly than you can imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cDid you have to tell me this today?\u201d I said tiredly. \u201cDon\u2019t I have enough to worry about already?\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cYour problems won\u2019t go away just because you want to put a pillow over your head and pretend they\u2019re not there,\u201d Beezle said.<\/p>\n \u201cYou don\u2019t have to tell me that,\u201d I said grimly. \u201cMy problems never seem to go away no matter what I do. They just grow and multiply like gremlins.\u201d<\/p>\n We both sat in silence for a few moments, contemplating the sad truth of this statement. Every time I attempted to extricate myself from the fallen I found that I\u2019d gained more enemies and more entanglements than I had before.<\/p>\n Subtlety is not my best thing. Politics requires a delicate hand. Those qualities are stock-in-trade for the fallen.\u00a0 I\u2019m more of a hack-and-slash-and-then-burn-it-all-to-the-ground kind of girl.<\/p>\n I pushed to my feet, and Beezle fluttered up to the kitchen counter. I stood there for a moment, feeling lost.<\/p>\n \u201cFood,\u201d Beezle reminded me.<\/p>\n \u201cYes, food,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n I opened the refrigerator door and looked in. There was absolutely nothing in it \u2013 not even a jar of mayonnaise.<\/p>\n \u201cWhen was the last time I went shopping?\u201d I wondered.<\/p>\n \u201cThe day that you and Gabriel followed Amarantha\u2019s ghost to the park,\u201d Beezle said.<\/p>\n \u201cWell, that was\u2026a while ago,\u201d I thought, trying to count backwards and failing. \u201cI guess I have to go to the store.\u201d<\/p>\n \u201cAnd I\u2019ll come with you,\u201d Beezle said.<\/p>\n \u201cOK,\u201d I mumbled.<\/p>\n \u201cWhat? No protest? No smart remark about my being a home guardian?\u201d Beezle asked.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can come if you want,\u201d I said tiredly. I couldn\u2019t think of any smart remarks. I just wanted to get through this task so that I could eat something and go back to sleep.<\/p>\n I shuffled down the hall, pulled on my boots and coat, stuffed some cash in my pocket.<\/p>\n \u201cAre you coming?\u201d I asked, turning to Beezle.<\/p>\n He hovered in the hallway, watching me with an indefinable expression on his face.<\/p>\n \u201cYou can\u2019t wander around in a fog like this forever,\u201d he said.<\/p>\n \u201cI know,\u201d I said softly.<\/p>\n I did know. Sooner or later, the world would come knocking at my door. Sooner or later, some enemy would appear, some new threat would manifest, and I\u2019d have to wake the hell up and deal with it. But not now. Not yet.<\/p>\n \u201cLet\u2019s go,\u201d I said.<\/p>\n Beezle landed on my shoulder, and we went out the door without another word.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Beezle took advantage of my total lack of energy and convinced me that we needed a lot of junk food that neither one of us should be eating. I was too tired to argue so I just bought whatever he pointed at, paid for it and trudged home.<\/p>\n I had my head down, watching my boots pushing through the snow, and wasn\u2019t thinking of anything in particular except more sleep.<\/p>\n We were almost to the front porch when Beezle tapped me on the shoulder.<\/p>\n \u201cMaddy,\u201d he said. His voice was urgent.<\/p>\n I looked up. There was a figure standing in the shadows on the front porch. Someone tall, wearing an overcoat\u2026<\/p>\n \u201cGabriel?\u201d I said, my heart thundering in my chest.<\/p>\n \u201cNo,\u201d the person said, and stepped into the light.<\/p>\n It was Nathaniel.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" CHAPTER ONE Lucifer put his arm around me. It felt comforting, like the act of a parent, a parent I\u2019d always wanted \u2013 a father. The air filled with the scent of cinnamon. It reminded me so strongly of Gabriel … Continue reading
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